Giggle Fits
by abetha0808
Summary: Maybe they're Earth's mightiest heroes, but they still deserve a laugh! Each Avenger laughs and is laughed at. With good reason.
1. Clint

**This is complete and utter silliness. I don't even really know...this is just what happens when my brain goes on vacation. Sooooo if it's funny I'll leave my brain off and if not I'll make an attempt to sleep more than 3 hours before I write something! Let me know through reviews or PM!**

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Tony knew that something was wrong the moment the elevator doors opened on the top floor of Stark Tower.

One. There was shouting in the living room. Why didn't JARVIS tell them to pipe down? Did they figure out how to put the AI in 'wild party' mode so it would let them carry on? Or was something very wrong? Was the team fighting? Was there a new mission? Was it Loki? Did Thor run out of Pop-Tarts? Were the Chitauri back? No one touched Clint's bow did they? That would just be suicide.

Two. From the decibel level, every single person on the top floor seemed to be involved in said shouting. Not even Cap was trying to calm it down. Capsicle allowing rambunctious fun? Or was Spangles in full-on Captain-and-leader-of-the-avengers mode? That would mean something very, very bad was going on. Maybe Thor _was_ out of Pop-Tarts. Or someone put Steve's suit in the dryer? Hm...maybe someone took Natasha's gun away? No. Also suicide. It could be that Pepper was angry at him? That's a good chance, there.

Three. Natasha was on the floor convulsing. Without another thought, Tony sprinted to her.

"Talk to me Natasha," Tony begged while he grabbed her wrist and felt for her pulse. He was surprised to find it strong and healthy. He examined her face, and then realized what was really going on. What could possibly have happened to cause this? Had she been gassed? There was no way this could be natural. It was almost easier to believe she was having a seizure or a stroke than-

Laughing.

She was laughing. Rolling on the floor, out of control _laughing._ Her eyes were tearing up and she was bent double holding herself, absolutely shaking with mirth.

Tony did a double take before whipping his head around to check on the rest of his friends. If Natasha was reduced to this...he wasn't sure he wanted to know how the rest were acting.

Thor and Steve were hanging on each other for support, Thor's booming guffaw echoing through the whole house. Steve looked as if he were about to collapse with giggling, tears of laughter streaming down his face, right into his open, chuckling mouth. The two blondes were both gasping for air and making attempts (met with failure because they couldn't help but succumb to the giggles again) to explain to Tony what was going on.

Bruce was on the floor, slapping the ground, absolutely howling. His glasses lay neglected a few feet away from him as he laughed with sheer abandon. Through his cackling, he did notice Tony's bewilderment and summoned his immense intellect to explain the situation to him.

As it turns out, all he really did was point, but it was the best thing he could think of at the moment.

Tony followed Bruce's finger in utter confusion until he saw it.

Sweet.

Baby.

Jesus.

Clint had been crawling in the air vents again. It's a shame no one told him that there was going to be work done on them to make them just a bit smaller.

Clint was hanging from the vent, his top half still stuck inside while his legs dangled.

And.

"JARVIS!"

His.

Pants.

"Yes, sir?"

Were.

Slipping.

"Pictures and video?"

And everyone could see.

His.

"Of course, sir."

Bright pink and purple, I'M-A-BARBIE-GIRL boxers. The cause of everyone's laughter was becoming more and more visible as his weapon-laden cargo pants began to sag.

Seeing (and hearing…quite profanely) his dear friend in distress, Tony did what needed to be done. Sometimes it's hard to be a good friend.

So why bother?

Tony pantsed him the rest of the way. And posted video to YouTube. And to Nick Fury's Facebook wall. All entitled:

"Barton's Dignity Has Been Compromised"

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**Which Avenger do you want to see next? Long reviews are my favorite :) Let me know what you think!**


	2. Thor

**Sorry this took a little longer than planned to post! As per usual, I have no idea what this even is...or if it's actually funny. So let me know!**

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Steve Rogers was not a vindictive person. He said it just wasn't nice to continue a feud (_Isn't that right Tony?_). "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind," he would quote at revenge-seekers (_Tony_). Steve often told _certain_ members of the Avengers that fighting back would just make everything worse. Even when that certain member (_Tony_) said something rude after such a statement, Steve practiced what he preached, and never responded with something mean back. He was good at being the better person, at letting things go. Steve didn't believe in "getting back".

Well, he _used_ to not believe in getting back.

But he just couldn't take it any longer.

From waltzing through the tower naked to constantly having tantrums over Pop-Tarts, Steve was absolutely sick of some of Thor's antics. The nakedness… _shudder._ And the fact that he was so ridiculously loud. ALL THE TIME. Steve couldn't think of a single time Thor was speaking at anything less than a shout. And the nudity. Why did Thor feel the need to strip off his clothing all the time? Every time Thor came strolling through Stark tower stark naked it made Steve so embarrassed he blushed for an hour after. It just wasn't decent! And in front of the dames, too.

Thor was on Steve's team, and he was one of Steve's best friends. He was a part of Steve's small new family, and Steve loved him.

But this was getting ridiculous. Steve had decided that action needed to be taken. All he needed now was a battle plan. And Steve was good at those.

…

Thor woke up feeling contented, as usual. He sighed and watched the sunlight play on the ceiling while he waited for Jane to wake up. At the moment she was completely hidden under the covers and balled up on her side. He reached a large hand over to pull the covers down a bit so he could see her face. Instead of his lady, however, he found sheets. Thor frowned and wandered into the living room in search of her. It was empty and Thor had a sneaking suspicion that Jane had succumbed to the tempting allure of her lab. He wandered into the kitchen in search of the next best thing to family: food.

More specifically, Pop-Tarts. Jane often told him she thought he had an addiction, which Thor laughed at. However, the archer and the metal man had tried to steal his dear tartlets with an alarming regularity. Thor had never felt more triumphant than when he decided to bring his strongbox (unlockable unless if you held Mjolnir to the clasp) to the Tower of Stark and store all his Pop-Tarts in it. Oh, how terribly he missed them when he was home. Thor had commissioned several bards and artists in Asgard to try and capture the wonder contained in the exquisite pastries. He also had a team of cooks attempting to recreate them, but to no avail as of yet. So, when he was on Midgard, apart from enjoying time with his lovely Jane, he ate Pop-Tarts like his life depended on it.

The thought of Pop-Tarts put a smile on Thor's face, and he immediately quickened his step to seek them.

…

Steve sat in his room holding the strange electric notepad Tony had given him. He didn't really know what it did, but he did like apples. Not that he really knew if they had anything to do with computers.

"JARVIS?" he asked tentatively, feeling strange addressing invisible Englishman, who was apparently, not a real person. Even though he _sounded_ plenty real. Ugh. Technology.

"How may I help you, Captain?" the AI responded.

"Um, well, I was wondering if you could put, um, the video from the security camera in the kitchen on this here, ah, thing," Steve finished, gesturing to the device; unsure of what exactly it was he was holding.

"I believe that you need administrator privileges to access those video feeds, Captain. Do you have the password?"

"Um…please?"

JARVIS was not supposed to allow the viewing of security camera video feed to those without administrator status. JARVIS was not programmed to do such a thing. And being a program itself, it would only make sense for JARVIS to do as it was made to. However, Tony happened to be feeling lonely when he created JARVIS and programmed extras into the AI, such as an intense liking for sarcasm, an appreciation for humor, and a certain amount of compassion. Tony also decided that the AI should have a sense of style and different tastes for other things as well.

Due to the tastes it had been allowed to develop, JARVIS had taken quite a bit of a liking to Steve. It found his old-fashioned sayings cute, and loved how his room was always clean. JARVIS privately laughed its little circuits out every time Steve became flummoxed with a piece of technology and loved how Steve actually cooked instead of demanding JARVIS find 'decent' takeout for him. JARVIS considered Steve's perfect behavior, complete obliviousness, kindness, and stupidly self-sacrificing tendencies while it debated as to whether he could be trusted with this one little video.

"No wait!" Steve continued, unaware of JARVIS' internal turmoil, "Open Sesame!" he exclaimed, looking excited by his own idea.

"That's quite right, Captain," JARVIS lied as he put the video onto Steve's iPad and began to play it for him.

Steve chuckled victoriously and gripped his prize tightly in one hand as the video in his other started just in time to catch Thor walking into the kitchen.

…

The tower shook. The entire top floor seemed to explode with noise.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Thor at top volume (which was really saying a lot).

"What? What?!" Natasha demanded as she and Clint practically flew into the room.

"What happened?" Bruce asked anxiously. He scurried into the kitchen jamming his glasses onto his head.

"Thor? Are you okay?" asked a disheveled Pepper as she dragged a zombie-like Tony behind him.

"NOOOO! Ohhhhh noooooo…howww?" Thor moaned as he lay facedown on the floor.

"Thor, what-oh…" Bruce stared at the cause of Thor's distress, "Oh, Thor…oh I'm so sorry."

"AHH! WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE SUCH ANGUISH?"

"Thor," Tony croaked groggily, "The decibel level…please. I promise, it'll be okay."

"NO! HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST THAT I COULD RECOVER FROM SUCH A BLOW?"

On the floor were the remains of his beloved, his treasured, his Pop-Tarts. The worst part wasn't the fact that each and every one of the 400 boxes was ruined. It wasn't that (although the wrappers thrown away neatly and cardboard recycled) the crumbs were smashed past recognition.

Someone had left Mjolnir's telltale imprint on the crumbs. Now that Thor thought about it, someone had to have used Mjolnir to open his strongbox in the first place. How dare someone use his precious hammer? Who would dare to have the audacity to even try? Thor held out his right hand and waited for his hammer to come, unsure of what he would do with it, but wanting it there, just to make him feel better.

But then it didn't. It didn't come. He stared in blatant panic at his outstretched hand.

"Where-wha-but-I…MJOLNIR WHY DO YOU NOT COME TO YOUR MASTER? Please! Please! I love you…COME BACK TO MEEEEE!" in desperation Thor sat on the ground and began to cry.

The Avengers were trained to deal with many things, but wailing gods on sugar-lows was not one of those things.

The tower was quiet, except for the (loud) sobbing of a Norse god.

After a moment, a maniacal giggle from a certain supersoldier was heard. He had JARVIS post the video to "the interwebs". JARVIS interpreted that as 'YouTube' and Nick Fury's Facebook wall. JARVIS also took the liberty of entitling said video.

"How To Depress A Blonde."

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**Reviews are the best! Which Avenger shall we get next? muahahahaha **


	3. Steve

**More of my ridiculousness! So yeah here we go :)**

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Next to JARVIS, Natasha was the closest to being the all-knowing power of the house. JARVIS did have her beat by a little, most likely due to the fact that it was a computer, but she was pretty close.

She knew that Steve didn't sleep a lot. Everyone did, really. She got it. She wasn't sure if she would sleep either if she suddenly woke up in a different century. Natasha was sure that she wouldn't hold it together as well as he did, though. She knew how it felt to be sleep deprived. God, she hated that feeling. She knew what it meant to be alone, and how ostracizing it is to be somewhere or in his case, some time, you don't belong.

She also knew that Steve needed to sleep to continue being a good captain, and to continue holding his life together.

So maybe she…helped…him sometimes.

…

Natasha walked casually by the couch where she saw a blonde head beginning to droop with exhaustion.

"Hey Steve," she said lightly.

"Oh hi…" she could hear the fatigue seeping into his every word. She ran her arms across the back of the couch, and waited for Steve's head to turn towards her. The moment it did, she sprang into action. With the arm outside of Steve's field of vision, she quickly stuck the chemical pad to his neck. The effects were immediate. Thank you science! Steve tipped over, out like a light, and would have fallen on the floor if she hadn't been there to catch him. Now, she thought, to drag him to his room without looking stupid…or getting caught.

…

After a good amount of sweating and hauling, Steve was tucked neatly in bed. The assassin breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed in the chair next to his bed. It's about time Steve got some sleep, she thought as she watched the steady rise and fall of his chest. Natasha began to hear clunking in the kitchen in preparation for dinner and hoped they'd try to keep it down. She was sure the drug had worn off by now. All she really used it for was to get him fall asleep. Once he was out, he usually stayed that way for a while. Especially if he had someone giving him hypodermics full of tranquilizer every two hours.

"This drink! I like it. ANOTHER!" As she heard the sound of breaking glass, Natasha decided it was probably time to re-drug the captain, especially now that Thor was in smash-mode.

"No! No, Thor! Who the hell is responsible for this? I specifically said! I said-"

"Calm down, Tony," Bruce's reassuring tone was quiet, "Focus on your breathing."

"No! Don't you spew anger-management advice at me! Who in their right mind gave _him_ my cup? It's MINE! It has my FACE on it and Pepper said only _I_ could use it!" Natasha sighed as she heard Tony shouting across the kitchen. She decided that the recently tranquilized Steve would be fine on his own for a while, and walked toward the noise.

"Nat," her favorite archer gave her a wink as she sat next to him at the table. Tony sat directly across from her, glaring grumpily at Thor.

Bruce greeted her with a smile, "Where's Steve? Off making marathoners everywhere feel bad?"

"No, he's sleeping," she said.

"Really?" Tony asked with interest, "By himself?" Natasha looked at him in confusion. "Meaning you didn't drug him," Tony clarified.

"Not…exactly, no" she informed him shamelessly. "But it was getting ridiculous again. Forty seven hours without getting any sleep is just wrong." Clint nodded in agreement. Tony got up from the table.

"I'm gonna go check on him. Make sure the old man's okay."

"I shall visit the captain as well," Thor added, dumping the remaining shards of glass into the trash. Natasha smiled evilly at their retreating backs.

She followed them out of the kitchen and crept into her room.

…

"JARVIS, let me see the video feed from the security camera in Steve's room."

"I'm sorry, miss. I cannot allow that unless you have the administrator password. Besides, isn't that spying?" JARVIS sounded almost affronted at the thought of someone spying on his favorite blonde.

"JARVIS. I _am_ a spy. And guess what?" Natasha's voice was mocking and full of a menace that the AI seemed to sense.

"Is _not_ guessing an option?"

"I have no aversion to ripping out your every circuit and deprogramming you until you are nothing more than meaningless zeroes and ones."

"Ahem. Playing video feed now."

"Thank you, vozlyublennaya," Natasha said sweetly.

"Don't 'sweetheart' me," JARVIS said grouchily as he played the video on her phone.

…

Tony was relieved to find Steve sleeping soundly. Steve really needed to hit the sack more often, he thought. Feeling almost paternal, Tony sat next to him on the bed.

Then he whipped out his phone and began playing Angry Birds. Because he could only take so much cute in a moment, and he certainly couldn't take acting cute for very long.

Thor sat in the chair next to Steve's bed, thinking about the best way to apologize to the Man of Iron for breaking his drinking vessel. He always forgot how frail Midgardian things were. Thor almost wished Loki were there to help. His brother was so good with words…

…

Natasha looked at her phone. Perfect, she thought. Slinking down the hallway, Natasha held onto the tiny disk she'd pilfered from the lab. When she was in front of Steve's door, she pressed the button on the disk and slid it through the slightly open doorway. She closed the door. Glancing at the screen, she could see it had worked. Tony and Thor were fast asleep, just like Steve. She waited until the gas had dissipated, then started her work, planting more of the little disks and arranging the two men. When she was satisfied, she put the remote control for the disks in her pocket and left the room. It's time for phase two, she thought.

"Have either of you seen Tony or Thor?" she asked as she walked into the living room.

"Mmmmm?" Clint and Bruce responded simultaneously, both absorbed in Mario Kart. Natasha hit the pause button on the game and their heads swiveled around until they found her.

"Hi," she said.

"Oh, hey," Bruce responded while Clint whined "I was winning!"

"Have either of you seen Tony or Thor?" she asked somewhat impatiently. Confusion clouded Clint's face.

"I thought they went to check on Steve?"

"Let's look for them," Bruce suggested, "Then you can finish beating me." Clint grinned.

"I'll check the gym," Natasha said, quickly escaping the room. She checked her phone again, waiting until they both entered Steve's room before she continued her plotting.

…

When phase three was completed, she put the boys (with much difficulty) back where they had been; dragging Clint and Bruce back to their game and putting Tony into an upright position again. Thor was just so goddang heavy she left him the way he was. Too much effort today had been spent hauling heavy men around.

As they started to wake up, she admired her handiwork. Four beautiful pictures sat on her bed.

Picture One: Tony and Steve were snuggled under the blankets. She had taken the liberty of removing both of their shirts, and had Tony lying across Steve's (beautiful) chest.

Picture Two: Thor and Steve; arranged to look as though they were naked and only just covered by sheets. She had artistically placed realistic looking scratch and bite-marks on both of them. Easy as pie if you had a red pen and white eye shadow. And a very…creative imagination.

Picture Three: Clint was propped up over Steve to make it appear that very naughty things were occurring indeed. Natasha had to resist the urge to cackle evilly as she took that particular shot.

Picture Four: Bruce was sitting in the chair next to Steve's bed. Reading a book. Because unfortunately the even when he wasn't The Other Guy, he couldn't be drugged. However, the assassin and the scientist both had felt a bit left out in the mini prank-war that was currently raging, so he allowed her little joke.

Natasha laughed like a villain in vaudeville as she posted the pictures on Nick Fury's Facebook wall.

Her album was entitled:

Captain Provocative

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**What'd you think? Funny/weird/good/bad? Which Avenger should be humiliated next? Reviews please!**


	4. Bruce

**Sorry it took so long to update! I had the plague...sort of. As usual, any and all input is appreciated!**

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Bruce was tired.

He had spent more hours than he cared to count assisting his teammates in assorted forms of trickery, or consoling them after the fact.

He wasted most of a day luring Clint out of various lofts and secret passages with freshly-baked snickerdoodles, bagpipe music, and Slinkies. Tony had flatly refused to make the air vents big again, but he did promise to inform the archer of all construction to the tower in the future. It could have been worse, Bruce reflected. At least he didn't have to hurt his neck craning up at the ceiling; Clint had given up on air vents for a while.

Bruce tirelessly consoled Thor as the Asgardian sobbed with anguish over his lost Pop-Tarts, though part of him wanted to laugh that the god's only weakness came in aluminum foil. He bought Thor a safe that would only open to his fingerprints (or if hit with his hammer…but they concluded that no safe was Mjolnir-proof after much trial and error.) Bruce even left the lab early to go with him to buy the pastries in bulk and helped him haul them all home and put them away safely.

He spent all morning extracting Steve from the gym, where he had been hiding in complete mortification for hours. Bruce reassured Steve that no one really thought he had 'fondued' with any of his teammates, and that none of 'the dames' would ever see the pictures. Bruce even managed to wrangle an apology from Natasha, the first she'd ever given, according to Clint.

Bruce was tired.

Really tired. And he tended to lose his temper much more easily when he was this exhausted.

…

It was dumb in hindsight, but at the time it was completely infuriating. All of Bruce's pet peeves seemed to be occurring at the same time.

Tony was totally drunk.

"Hey Steve! Stripey, come here! SPANGLES. C'mere Capsicle!" Steve cautiously made his way over to where Tony was sitting on the couch. Tony flashed him a screen with a dirty movie playing on it.

"Oh, gosh! TONY! Stop it! Ew ew ew ew ew! Oh, gee Tony, oh my gosh," Steve stammered in embarrassment as he tripped over the coffee table in his efforts to run away.

Thor was naked.

Clint was imitating Katniss, reciting her lines and posing with his bow. He was jumping on couches threatening to shoot people (mainly Steve) if they didn't say 'may the odds be ever in your favor'.

Natasha was impersonating Adele and Taylor Swift. Tony begged her to play drinking games with him, and it didn't go well for her. She had to drink every time Steve did something nice, said 'gee', acted sexy by accident, or looked confused. He had to drink every time Steve made an incorrect pop culture reference, helped someone, looked pensive, or doodled. Either way, she ended up completely trashed and was standing on a chair, mutilating Adele's Hometown Glory and wooing Clint with Teardrops on My Guitar. Natasha was good at many things and great at many more. Singing, however, was not a gift of hers.

Bruce could feel his blood pressure rising, but everywhere he turned he just got more and more angry. He took deep breaths, which seemed ineffectual against the noise of Tony laughing and Natasha forever ruining Set Fire to the Rain. Bruce's hands began to shake as he lost control.

…

It was mainly on the part of Steve's quick observation and Thor's brute strength that they got Bruce into his 'fun house' before he had fully Hulked out.

"I shall ensure the safety of Friend Bruce," Thor announced as he pulled on some pants.

"Alright. His glasses are over on that chair," Steve said with a glance at the Other Guy wrecking a brick wall in his little playground. Thor watched Steve exit the observation deck, then looked down at the Hulk below. Thor sighed and looked around the deck for something to entertain himself with. Finding a Stark Industries keychain, he returned to his chair, fiddling with the keychain. The Hulk let out a fearsome roar and Thor's fist tightened on the toy, which, to his surprise, made a red light appear on the wall. The god grinned, and pressed the circular button again, making the light appear. He pointed the keychain all over the deck, watching as the dot danced all around the inside of the warehouse. A giggle escaped his lips involuntarily. Thor continued to play with his new toy until his warrior's sense began to buzz. It was silent in the warehouse. Was The Other Guy done already? Thor peeked over the railing and saw a large green creature staring up in confusion.

Thor was many things. Impulsive was one of those things. He shone the light right at The Hulk's face. The creature roared in fury and Thor moved the laser pointer dot to the wall. The Hulk ran over and slammed his hand over the dot. Thor moved it to the right. The Hulk shuffled over and tried to grab it again. Delighted with his new game, Thor began to laugh in earnest as he made the dot fly all over the room, watching the Hulk chase it. He was reminded of Darcy's cat chasing a flashlight. Although, he thought, Darcy had a fluffy gray kitten named Fuzzy. And this was an enormous green rage monster. But the concept was the same. The Other Guy ran in circles and leaped for the ceiling, howling with anger the whole time. Thor chuckled and instructed the phone Tony had given him to make record of The Other Guy's antics.

…

Hulk jump. Hulk run. Hulk smash. Hulk roar. Hulk want dot. Hulk want dot very bad. Hulk not get dot. Hulk ANGRY. Hulk HATE dot! Why dot no stay still?

…

Thor's fun was interrupted when Steve stormed in and stole the fun-light-device. The prince sighed and slouched while the soldier ranted at him.

"-he's still a guy in there Thor! That was inappropriate and unkind, and you just made him angrier and now he's going to be like that for longer and you _know _it makes him tired! You are going to have to apologize to him and-" Thor rolled his eyes and allowed the Captain of the American Land to push him out of the room. As he strolled towards the elevator to go upstairs, he instructed JARVIS to tell Director Fury and the Book of Faces to the Hulk's frolicking.

Physicist, Doctor, Genius, Likes to Chase Flashlights: Bruce Banner

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**Who's next? Reviews please! Anything else you want to see? Also, if there's any other story you'd like to see me do, I'm looking for something to noodle around. Thanks! Aaaaaand review! :)**


	5. Natasha

**Here we go! Bruce finally has his turn to wreak havoc! And he's brave enough to get someone the rest of the team would never dream of pranking…**

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Bruce enjoyed sticking to a schedule. He liked routine and regularity. Bruce liked to be in control of himself.

That wasn't always possible.

When the Other Guy took over, Bruce lost control. Dr. Banner floated away and watched while the Hulk steered. Sometimes the Hulk did things Bruce would regret forever. Sometimes the Hulk did things Bruce wished he had the courage to do. Occasionally, the Other Guy allowed a bit of Bruce's input. But mostly, Bruce was completely and utterly out of control.

So he made sure that every other aspect of his life was carefully planned out and thought through. Bruce got up every morning at eight-thirty and made breakfast. Caffeine was too dangerous, so he never had coffee, just tea. Chamomile, usually. Mostly because Clint laughed himself silly any time Bruce drank green tea. Ha. Like he'd never heard _that _joke before. After breakfast he went down to the lab, walked through the park, helped Steve with technology or did whatever needed doing that day until noon, when he had lunch and read until one-thirty. Then, to the lab until dinner, which was usually at six. At ten, he went to his room and read before he fell asleep.

Boring? Yes. Stable? Also yes. Bruce would take 'control and sanity' over 'exciting' any day.

The only issue was when Bruce wanted to deviate from his self-assigned schedule, people noticed. And he couldn't have that. Not now that his perfect plan was finally all worked out…

…

Natasha walked briskly into SHIELD headquarters, glaring at anyone who looked in her direction for too long. She slammed open doors and speedily scanned her fingerprints and retinas to get to the higher clearance areas in search of her locker. After smashing a door shut in an intern's face, Natasha sighed with pleasure. She was having such a wonderful day so far. She almost felt like singing, but then, she wouldn't be caught dead doing _that_ in public. Arriving in the Avenger's locker room, she spun the simple combination lock, designed to make Steve more comfortable rather than to be more secure. As Natasha pulled the door open, over a hundred bouncy balls fell onto the floor bouncing every which way. Some lighting up, making noise, or otherwise being more rambunctious than rubber rightfully should be. The spy's eyes widened with surprise and embarrassment. What was going on here? She wanted to storm out and strangle whoever was responsible…but Captain had gotten really annoying about keeping the locker room clean lately. And she flatly refused to deal with the punishment of being in charge of cooking dinner for the next week. Natasha swallowed her pride, blushed deeply and began picking up each and every bouncy ball, praying that no one would come in. Once they were all tucked away, she opened her locker again, intent on grabbing her Widow's Bite bracelet and leaving as fast as humanly possible. However, her mystery attacker had ensured that she wouldn't be taking _anything_ quickly.

…

Safely tucked away in Maria Hill's office, Bruce howled with laughter as he watched the assassin fighting to unwrap all the plastic wrap and packaging tape he'd enclosed every one of her belongings with. The Black Widow's face was contorted in rage and completely unadulterated fury, and unexpected but hilarious redness. Bruce was sure she'd have Hulked out at this point if she were him. Bruce chuckled again as she let out a furious scream. He removed the flash drive and strolled out of Agent Hill's office. He wanted to be home when she got to the good stuff.

…

Natasha was absolutely steaming when she finally left the locker room. Who would dare to do something like this? To _her_? Not Steve, he was too much of a goody-goody. Thor wouldn't bother. Tony valued his life too much. Clint wanted booty to much to risk making her angry. That left…Bruce? No. He wouldn't dare. Never. He'd never do anything like that. Would he?

…

As Natasha fought with her Vaseline-covered doorknob, short-sheeted bed, baby oil filled shampoo bottle, and salted toothbrush, Bruce couldn't help but laugh out loud. He loved watching her blush with embarrassment! Zooming the security cameras to capture the priceless expressions on her face, he began editing together a video to really humiliate her with.

"Do you like my title for it JARVIS?" he asked.

"Very much, sir."

"Hmm. Is it creative enough?"

"Well, it's somewhat awkwardly phrased. However, I found it very entertaining," the AI replied, quite glad that someone was dealing with his least favorite assassin.

"Thanks, JA-" the door slammed open and Bruce's eyes went wide. In the door frame stood an oily-haired Russian who looked absolutely murderous. Her pupils were enlarged, and she looked almost like a shark in a feeding frenzy.

"Post it," Dr. Banner squeaked, "Nownownow." Natasha screamed and dove for the mouse, but it was too late.

Nick Fury's Facebook wall had another addition:

Red-Faced Widow

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**So how do you think this went? Review :D**


	6. Tony

**So, I was trying to go for a bit of suspense and a tad of romance. How do you think it went?**

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Clint was perched on a beam in the ceiling of the gym. And boy was he furious. He had been humiliated beyond anything he ever dreamed in the last week. Even Natasha could hardly look at him without laughing. Steve tried to put it out of mind, and Thor was easily distracted. Tony, however, was a holy horror. From constantly playing the Barbie theme song to dyeing Clint's other clothing pink, Tony was determined to embarrass Clint as much as he possibly could. Thus, the archer was hiding and hating his team. Well, most of it. Bruce had been nice. But then, Bruce was the team's benevolent daddy, and it was kind of his job to be nice. Clint had to admit that the snickerdoodles did make him feel better. He was only mad at Steve and Thor because they were there. That would fade. Natasha would be forgiven. All she really had to do was give him puppy dog eyes and he'd forget all about being angry. Tony however…Tony needed to pay. It had to be vicious. It had to be personal. Something he'd remember forever. Something that no matter how many times he thought about it, he'd still cringe. It needed to hit him where it really hurt. But, it also needed to be public. Clint leaned against a ceiling support and pulled out a notebook to begin detailing his plans.

…

Clint was staring at the ceiling as he lay in bed. He jumped suddenly as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"You think I don't realize you're awake?" an irritated Natasha asked snippily, "Because your tension is radiating through this whole bed."

"Sorry," he muttered distractedly. Natasha rolled over and propped herself up on her elbow.

"What is it?" she asked more softly, tracing his taut jawline with her fingertips. Clint deliberated for a moment. He was unsure whether to risk bringing up his shame again for a possible alliance. Hm. She was an assassin. And a spy. Probably the most useful combo in the history if pranking…however…she might defect to Tony's team if he told her anything, just for the fun of being a double agent. He studied her expression, and found her eyes unexpectedly tender.

"I…I'm…planning something," he started slowly. Natasha lifted her eyebrows but otherwise continued smoothing Clint's hair back from his forehead. "And it's kind of…supertopsecretandyoucan'ttellanybody," he finished in a rush. Natasha laughed throatily.

"Isn't that part of my job description? Good with weapons, flexible schedule, able to keep a secret?" she chuckled again, "Not afraid of blood?"

"No, I'm serious!" Clint protested, "Some really intense stuff is about to happen. Getting involved-"

"Yeah, I get it. My lips are sealed. Now tell me what's going on!"

"I never said I was going to trust you with this. You cut me off." Natasha's eyes grew big.

"You don't trust me?" she asked, with sad puppy eyes on full power. Clint sighed.

"Tash, I trust you with my life. I trust you with the world-no, the whole universe. But with things that are less important? Sweetie, you have too much of a playful streak to be trusted entirely." Natasha sighed and looked at Clint imploringly. He narrowed his eyes and deliberated whether her compassion would outweigh her natural sense of fun…and double-agency.

…

Natasha crept down the hallway, lithe and silent as a spider in the dark. She was a shadow in the night, a panther in the jungle, she-

"Hey, be careful," Steve admonished after she walked headfirst into him, "You could hurt yourself." Natasha smiled to hide her embarrassment. It's the middle of the day, she reminded herself, no need to sneak. After a quick glance over her shoulder, she slipped into Tony's lab.

"It's starting," she said. Tony looked at her in puzzlement for a moment, but then realization, fear, and dread appeared in his expression.

"Now?" he croaked.

"Today," Natasha affirmed. Tony sat down on his chair, looking petrified.

"You're still with me on this, right?" he asked in a panicky voice.

"Absolutely. Now get me some paper so I can write out what you need to do to foil his plans…" Much later, Tony left the lab clutching a notebook to his chest like it was his newborn child. His eyes darted back and forth nervously and he half-ran to his room to study it.

…

The billionaire snuck into the kitchen to make lunch, hoping that someone would be there. Unfortunately, it was two o'clock, so Bruce had already eaten, Steve was off running with Natasha, Pepper was at work, and Thor…god knows where Thor was, but he wasn't in the kitchen. It was himself…and the enemy. And now he knew all the horrible, horrible things that the enemy was planning. Natasha had told him the only thing that changed about the air vents was the openings. And there were still a few Clint-sized ones left, so he could be in the ceiling right now. But, she had also told Tony that visibility was limited from said vents. If he talked and made it sound like someone else was there, Clint wouldn't strike.

"Hey, Thor, how's it going, buddy?" he said with fake enthusiasm, "IT IS A GRAND DAY INDEED METAL MAN," he responded to himself, mimicking the Asgardian's loud bass tones. "That's nice. I was just thinking about where our _good friend_ CLINT might be. Any ideas, Thor?" "THE ARCHER DOES LIKE TO HIDE IN THE _AIR VENTS_. IS IT POSSIBLE HE COULD BE THERE?" "Gee, fellas, what's all the hootin' and hollerin' about?" Tony decided that Steve should join the conversation. "Well, Steve," Tony responded in his own voice, "We're wondering where CLINT could be. Our _very good friend_ is missing." "Aw, shucks," Tony-Steve replied, "Well, he'll turn up. He wouldn't be doing anything bad. OR ELSE HEAVEN KNOWS WHAT FURY WOULD DO TO HIM," he finished in a shout. Tony began to twitch. How much longer did this have to go on? What else did Natasha say could deter Clint's wrath? Oh, yeah, animals. Apparently Clint hated animal noises, because they reminded him of his childhood growing up in a circus. Tony cleared his throat.

"MOOOOOOOOOOOO! Wait, what am I thinking? Circus animals, not farm animals. Get it together Tony!" he frantically chanted to himself as he threw together a sandwich. "ROAARR! BAAAA! Um…how do elephants go? QUAAAAAACK! NEIIIGHHH! Oh my god," Tony whimpered. "BRUCEEE! COME SAVE MEEEE! THERE'S FAKE STEVE AND THOR AND CLINT'S GONNA KILL ME!" Tony dropped the messy attempt at a sandwich and sprinted to the lab.

…

Clint laughed maniacally the moment Tony left, holding the camcorder in his hand like it was pure gold. He walked into his room and plugged it in at his desk computer.

"Well?" Natasha asked. Clint smiled broadly and kissed her while the file uploaded.

"You're wonderful," he said happily. She laughed and walked toward the door.

"I can't wait to see his face when it goes up," she said as she left. Clint smiled and put the video on Fury's Facebook. YouTube, too, for good measure.

Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Lunatic.

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**Worry not, readers, this is NOT the last chapter. There will be either 1 or 2 more bonus chapters, depending on how I feel. Let me know what you guys think! **


	7. FURY

**Last chapter guys! :'( I'm going to miss this fic! I'm currently working on another story though, so stick around!**

**Also, I'd like to thank all my faithful reviewers. You guys/gals kept this thing going! Special Thanks to:**

**ratchetsfangirl**

**TXJ**

**Pika-Pika CHUUU**

**WolfOfProphecy's**

**PowerinPink**

**EnyaandEathenyl**

**I hope you'll stick around and keep me on track for other fics!**

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When the helicarrier landed, Nick Fury was exhausted. Physically and mentally. All he really wanted to do was go to bed and stay there for a while. But it was only six. He shouldn't screw up his sleep schedule for the next day because of a little wear around the edges. And plus, he had a reputation to uphold. He stormed through SHIELD headquarters, doing his best to appear busy, energized and ready to kick ass. Once his office door was slammed behind him, he sat heavily in his chair. Fury let his head droop onto the desk and he closed his eyes for a minute. After a brief sigh, he entered his eight passwords into the quadruple-encrypted computer and checked on SHIELD's various projects. Finding nothing that needed his attention, he allowed his mind to wander. He was happy. Well, as happy as Fury ever was. His lifetime dream, The Avengers Initiative was doing wonderfully. They worked together. They were professional. The universe was wary of them, and earth was safe. He was extra happy that they all lived together, too. He hadn't expected Tony to offer up his house for the team, but hey, maybe the guy had a hidden sentimental side. The side of Fury's mouth twitched. Because he was Nick Fury. And Nick Fury did not smile. Ever. The director leaned back in his chair contentedly. It was a rare occasion, so he allowed his thoughts to drift somewhere non-work related. For the first time in a long time, he thought of his family. Primarily, his niece. His brother's daughter Jamie was about thirteen now. Fury hadn't seen Jamie since she was six. It was too dangerous for him to contact her often. He opened up the Facebook account he had created purely to keep up with her, under the guise "Niko Angry". Creative? No. But oddly enough, it did work to keep people off his scent. Fury gasped when he saw all the notifications blinking in his face. He looked at his wall, and as each post loaded, his eye popped further and further out of his head. The vein on the back of his head began to pulse. His scowl deepened even further than normal, and he resisted the urge to roar with anger.

What had his sophisticated squad of heroes become? His dream team was now a nightmare club. Or at least the most immature grouping of people he'd ever seen. In minutes he saw a genius talk to himself, a 90 year old virgin apparently have affairs with three men, the Hulk act like a kitten, a Norse god cry, an assassin hang butt-first out of an air vent and a Russian spy blushing red with embarrassment over the most juvenile pranks he'd ever heard of. Fury's face contorted with-well…fury. He was enraged beyond belief. The director ripped the computer's cord out of the wall and stormed out of the office, intent on action.

...

As they sat in front of the movie, Natasha realized that she and Clint had reached a new milestone together. They were holding hands. In front of the team. Natasha knew Clint wasn'tnearly as sensitive about it, and he liked that the team noticed. She, however, was likely to decapitate anyone who even _thought_ a snarky comment about the obvious new relationship. The only person dumb enought to really do that probably also had the highest (or maybe second highest) IQ. But Bruce liked Tony, and Bruce was the team's daddy, so she'd probably just scare the snarky billionaire to death if he said anything. She felt defensive. After denying their relationship for so long, it was weird to act so blasé about it now. Still, she loved the warm feeling of her archer next to her. And she'd take the awkward if it came with Clint. But she'd still kill anyone that ever found that out.

…

Tony had Pepper cuddled into his side, her hand over the arc reactor to keep it from casting a glare on the TV. He could smell her strawberry shampoo. Tony was happy as a clam, and he hadn't had a sip of alcohol all day. He never wanted any. Bruce was staring intently at the screen, clearly sad about the plot twist. Natasha and Clint seemed fairly absorbed in their snuggling. Thor was crying quietly, and Jane was patting him on the shoulder with an exasperated expression on her face. Steve was smiling. That dork. Didn't he know a sad movie when he saw one? Then again, he'd been smiling a lot lately. The genius studied his face for a moment, but then decided to bring him down to earth.

"Spangles…"

…

Steve was in a really good mood. The whole team agreed on a movie, and there was enough popcorn for everyone to have their own bowl. Steve had slept without a single nightmare last night. He was proud of himself, although he suspected someone else had more to do with it. He always slept better when his mind was distracted from the war and Hydra. Steve smiled to himself. She was good for that. No, he thought, she's good for everything. The soldier looked around at his team. No one was arguing. He guessed that they all got that out of their systems last week. He smirked as he thought back on the amount of ridiculous stuff that happened. Thank God my girl's never going to see those awful pictures Natasha took, he thought. But she would understand. She always did.

"Spangles. This is the sad part you dipstick," Tony poked him with his toe. Steve wiped the smile of his face and tried to refocus on the screen. That effort died out about thirteen seconds later, when the best part of 2012 filled his mind again with her knowing smile and her light laugh.

…

Thor was wildly upset. The king's brother killed the king. And now his son was being threatened by the same throne usurper. It was so HEARTBREAKING! These Midgardians came up with the saddest and truest stories. He was only confused by one thing: why were all the actors lions? And that one wild boar…Earth was strange. He felt so sorry for this King Of The Lions...he could really identify.

…

Clint was ecstatic that Nat had finally gotten to the point of admitting that they were in love in front of other people. Well. Sort of. They held hands and that was close enough for now. He knew her to be soft and loving alone, but as always, she was on her guard in front of others. He stroked her hair and smiled softly. The door suddenly slammed open. In it, stood a terrifying figure. Nick Fury's eye was bugging out of his head and Clint had never seen him looking more furious.

"AAAVEEENGGEEERRSSSS!" he screamed.

"Scatter!" Tony yelped in fear.

"Escape plan alpha!" shouted Steve in his captain-voice. The avengers dispersed in a matter of seconds leaving Jane and Pepper to stare down the furious director.

"WHERE ARE THEY? I WANT THEM ALL IN HERE RIGHT NOW!" he demanded.

"Hey," Jane said uncertainly, "They're here somewhere. We've still got the team; they just need…um…" Pepper smiled and finished Jane's sentence.

"Some assembly required."

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**Well, what'd you think? Good overall? Who do you think Steve's thinking of? There's another story coming, so check back soon! Review please :)**


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